I'll Eat My Words
(NOTE FROM LORI: Please correct me if I'm wrong, but I think this originated with an "I Love Lucy" episode)
A door-to-door vacuum salesman goes to the first house in
his new territory. He knocks, a lady opens the door, and
before she has a chance to say anything, he runs inside and
dumps potting soil all over the carpet.
He says, "Lady, if this vacuum cleaner don't do wonders
cleaning up that dirt, I'll eat every chunk of it."
She says, "You want tomato sauce on that? We just moved in
and we haven't got the electricity turned on yet."