The Student Four Letter Dictionary (British Version)

BARS: most popular social place, more popular than WORK

BEER: relaxing liquid beverage - widely available

BIKE: mode of transport which means it's gonna RAIN as soon as you get outside the door

BILL: piece of paper laying claim to a big chunk of your grant

BOOK: a means by which to prop up a wobbly table

BORE: another word for lecturer

CALL: something you do to your parents when you run out of DOSH

CARS: another, more expensive, mode of transport, has a drawback - see PARK

CLUB: something you join at the start of the year, but never go to

COOK: something your mum does when you go HOME

COPY: thing which (of course) no-one does with their homework and lecture notes

DOOR: thing you get slammed in your face at job interviews

DOSH: something you never seem to have enough of

DOZE: popular past-time, especially in lectures

EXAM: written bluffing test, now standard at end of each semster

FILE: cardboard device for mixing up lecture notes

FOOD: luxury only affordable upon receipt of grant

FREE: denotes something which is just within a students price-range

HEAD: part of physical person which appears to spin after excessive BEER

HOME: almost heavenly place visited about every three months, usually as a FREE guest

HOST: the only person at the house-warming, who doesn't end up sleeping in a bed

KEYS: things which have the habit of disappearing more often than Paul Daniels

LAZY: label, given by lecturers, to the hardest WORKing students

LIES: another word for the excuses given as you why you want an extension

LIFE: as yet, defies definition

NAME: the one thing you can never remember about the person who you're TALKing to

PARK: one thing you can't do with CARs after 09:10 weekdays

PASS: unfortunately this is not accepted in University examinations as an answer

PENS: writing implement which'll stop working as soon as you haven't got a spare
POND: pathetic attempt to distract people from the amount of concrete on campus

POST: thing you get from your parents asking you why you haven't phoned

QUID: approx. amount of spending money left out of your grant after paying BILLs

RAIN: thing which happens as soon as you start cycling or after you've put washing out to dry

READ: means by which to cure insommnia, esp with respect to TEXT BOOKs

ROOM: something else students don't get much of, esp. in residences

SIZE: this is NOT important

TALK: means by which students discuss anything but WORK

TERM: naughty word that you shouldn't say anymore - that's offical

TEXT: recommended, heavy, paper-based object which is usually the most boring in that subject

TIME: something which you think you'll always have enough of, but invariably don't

TYPE: one thing most students actually do end up doing for long periods of TIME

WALK: method of movement which becomes less co-ordinated after BEER 

WANT: something which students end up doing a lot of.. see DOSH, HEAT, FOOD etc..

WEEK: this lasts seven days in the real world, but here seems to last less than five minutes

WORD: something you are not allowed to utter one of during lectures

WORK: Disgusting word - rumoured to be very unpleasant

YEAR: length of time it takes to shake off the BOREs you met in week one.

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