Rules for Driving in New York City
1) When on a one way street, stay to the right to allow
oncoming traffic to pass.
2) Never, ever, stop for a pedestrian unless he flings
himself under the wheels of your car.
3) The first parking space you see will be the last parking
space you see. Grab it.
4) Never get in the way of a car that needs extensive body
5) Always look both ways when running a red light.
6) Never use directional signals when changing lanes. They
only warn other drivers to speed up and not let you in.
7) Making eye contact revokes your right of way.
8) Whenever possible, stop in the middle of a crosswalk to
ensure inconveniencing as many pedestrians as possible.
And if a pedestrian ahead of you steps into the road, speed
up, honk or yell loudly and chase him back up on the curb.
Pedestrians have no rights.