Men are Lunatics, Women are Nuts
Women have more imagination than men. They need it to tell
us how wonderful we are.
Women have their faults. Men have only two. Everything they
say. Everything they do.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife
can spend. A successful women is one who can find such a man.
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow
deteriorate during the night.
When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men
invade another country.
It's a whole different way of thinking. A man is a person who
will pay two dollars for a one-dollar item he wants. A woman
will pay one dollar for a two-dollar item that she doesn't want.
When a man gives his opinion, he's a man. When a woman gives her
opinions, she's a bitch.
Women are the only exploited group in history who have been
idealized into powerlessness.
Diamonds are a girl's best friend. Dogs are a man's best friend.
Now you know which sex is smarter.
Most men's primary fantasy is still, unfortunately, access to a
number of beautiful women. For a man, commitment means giving up
this fantasy. Most women's primary fantasy is a relationship with
one man who either provides economic security or is on his way to
doing so (he has "potential"). For a woman, commitment to this
type of man means achieving this fantasy. So commitment often
means that a woman achieves her primary fantasy, while a man gives
It's not true that men prefer foolish women. Rather they prefer
women who can simulate foolishness whenever necessary, which is
the very core of intelligence.
Men always want to be a woman's first love. Women have a more
subtle instinct: What they like is to be a man's last romance. The
only way to understand a woman is to love her - and then it isn't
necessary to understand her. To women, love is an occupation.
To men, a preoccupation. To be happy with a man you must understand
him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must
love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A
man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.
Men marry because they are tired; woman because they are curious.
Both are disappointed.
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband, while
a man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A woman will always cherish the memory of the man who wanted to
marry her; a man, of the woman who he didn't.
There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman - before
marriage and after marriage
Only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. One is to
let her think she is having her own way, and the other is to let
her have it.
Married men live longer than single men, But married men are a lot
more willing to die.
Any married man should forget his mistakes - no use two people
remembering the same thing.
Some husbands are living proof that a woman can take a joke.
Husbands are like cars: all are good the first year.
A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says
after that is the beginning of a new argument.
If you women knew what we were thinking, you'd never stop
Men are like animals, but they make great pets.
Can you imagine a world without men ? No crime and lots of happy
Women have two weapons - cosmetics and tears.
Women may be the only group that grows more radical with age.
God made man before woman to give him time to think of an answer
for her first question.
Men are Lunatics, Women are Nuts