OPERATION ORDER 12-97 FOR:

	OFFICIAL VISIT OF LTG SANTA CLAUS
	
	1.  An official staff visit by LTG Claus is expected at this post
	on 25 Dec.  The following directives govern activities of all
	Army personnel during the visit.

	a.  Not a creature will stir without permission.  This includes 
	warrant officers and mice.  Soldiers may obtain special
	stirring  permits for necessary administrative action through
	the Battalion S-1. Officer stirring permits must be obtained through the 
	Deputy, Post Plans and Policy Office.
	
	b.  All personnel will settle their brains for a long winter nap
	NLT 2200 hours, 24 December.  Uniform for the nap will be;
	Pajamas, Cotton,  Light Weight, General Purpose, OG, and
	Cap, BDU woodland pattern, with ear flaps in the extended
	position.  Equipment will be drawn from the  supply room
	prior to 1900 hours.  While at supply, all personnel will review
	their personal hand receipts and sign a Cash Collection
	Voucher,  DD Form 1131, for all missing items.  Remeber,
	this is the "season of giving."
	
	c.  Personnel will utilize standard "T" ration sugar plums for
	visions  to dance through their heads.  Sugar plums are
	available in "T" ration sundry packs and should be eaten with
	egg loaf, chopped ham, and spice cake to ensure  maximum
	visions are experienced.
	
 	d.  Stockings, Wool, Cushion Sole, will be hung by the
	chimneys with care.   Necessary safety precautions will be
	taken to avoid fires caused by carelessly  hung stockings. 
	1SG's will submit stocking handling plans to S-3, Training
	prior to 0800 hours, 24 Dec.  All leaders will ensure their
	subordinate personnel are briefed on the safety aspects of
	stocking hanging.

 	e.  At first of clatter, all personnel will spring from their beds
	to investigate and evaluate the cause.  Immediate action will
	be taken to tear open the shutters and throw up the window
	sashes.  On order OPLAN 7-97 (North Pole), para 6-8 (c)(3), 
	dated 4 March, this office, takes effect to facilitate shutter
	tearing and sash  throwing.  SDO and all CQs will be familiar
	with procedures and are responsible for seeing that no
	shutters are torn or sashes thrown in Bldg 9828 prior
	to the start of official clatter.

 	f.  Prior to 0001, date of visit, all personnel possessing
	Standard Target Aquisition and Night Observation (STANO)
	equipment will be assigned "wandering eyeball" stations.  
	The SDNCO will ensure that these stations are adequately
	manned even after shutters are  torn and sashes are thrown.
	
 	g.  The Battalion S-4, in coordination with the National
	Security Agency and the Motor Pool will assign on each
	Sliegh, Miniature, M-24 and eight reindeer, tiny, for use by
	LTG Claus.  The assigned driver must have a current sleigh
	operators license with  roof top permit and evidence of
	attendance at the winter driving class stamped on his  DA
	Form 348.  Driver must also be able to clearly shout "On
	Dancer, On Dancer, etc."

 	2.  LTG Claus will initially enter Bldg 9828 through the dayroom.  
	All offices without chimneys will draw Chimney Simulator,
	M6A2 for use during the visit.  Draw chimney simulator on
	DA Form 2765-1 which will be submitted in four copies to the
	S-4 prior to 23 Dec.  Personnel will ensure that chimneys are
	properly cleaned before turn-in at the conclusion of visit.
	
	3.  Personnel will be rehearsed in the shouting of "Merry
	Christmas and Happy New Year"  or "Merry Christmas To All
	and To All a Good Night."  This shout will be given upon 
	termination of the visit.  Uniformity of shouting is the
	responsibility of each section NCOIC.
	
	FOR THE COMMANDER GOODE, U. B.  LTC, OD
	Executive Officer






Back to Lori's Humor Page