The Letter "D" Leaves Sesame Street

	NEW YORK--A spokesperson for the letter D announced 
	Monday that the consonant is withdrawing sponsorship from 
	Sesame Street following a Children's Television Workshop 
	announcement that a homosexual muppet will soon join the 
	show's cast.
	* * * "The letter D is proud to have brought you many 
	wonderful Sesame Street episodes throughout the program's
	28-year history," said Patricia Willis, public-relations 
	director for D. "But the letter D does not condone the sort 
	of morally questionable lifestyles that Sesame Street is 
	advocating with the introduction of this new character.  
	It can no longer in  good conscience associate itself with 
	the show."
	* * * Willis said D's withdrawal is effective immediately, and 
	applies to both capital and lower-case versions of the letter.
	* * * The gay muppet, "Roger," will be introduced on Sesame 
	Street Dec. 23, CTW director Leslie Charren said. Thus far, 
	no other sponsors have pulled out, though the number seven 
	has requested an advance tape of the episode before it 
	makes a decision.
	* * * Many public-television insiders believe D's withdrawal 
	was motivated by a desire not to alienate religious 
	conservatives, a section of the population that employs the 
	letter frequently.
	* * * "D is for, among other things, demagoguery, dogma and 
	doctrine, words crucial to right-wing groups like the Christian 
	Coalition," said Yale University political-science professor J. 
	Wright Franklin. "It is likely that D felt it could ill afford to 
	offend such a large segment of its users."
	* * * While a long-term replacement for D has not yet been 
	secured by Sesame Street, the number three will temporarily
	fill in for it in a number of the show's animated shorts.  Other 
	pieces will simply skip from C to E, with vocalists stretching 
	out C into two syllables to match the rhythm of the alphabet 
	* * * Sesame Street is stung by the sudden departure of its 
	longtime supporter.  Speaking to reporters, cast member 
	Cookie Monster said: "Me disappointed letter D choose to 
	end relationship with Sesame Street due to pressure from 
	extremely vocal minority.  We accused of endorsing deviant 
	lifestyle. Me say homosexuality natural, not immoral. 
	Diversity and enrichment.  That's good enough for me." 

From "The Onion"

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