Journalists


Jon Snow:  "In a sense, Deng Xiaoping's death was inevitable, wasn't
it?"
Expert: "Er, yes."  (Channel 4 News)

"As Phil De Glanville said, each game is unique, and this one is no
different to any other." (John Sleightholme - BBC1)

"If England are going to win this match, they're going to have to
score a goal." (Jimmy Hill - BBC)

"Beethoven, Kurtag, Charles Ives, Debussy - four very different
names." (Presenter, BBC Proms, Radio 3)

"Cystitis is a living death, it really is. Nobody ever talks about it,
but if I was faced with a choice between having my arms removed and
getting cystitis, I'd wave goodbye to my arms quite happily." (Louise
Wener (of Sleeper) in Q Magazine)

"Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the
field." (Metro Radio Sports Commentary)

Listener: "My most embarrassing moment was when my artificial leg fell
off at the altar on my wedding day."
simon Fanshawe: "How awful! Do you still have an artificial leg?"
(Talk Radio)

Interviewer: "So did you see which train crashed into which train
first?"
15-year-old: "No, they both ran into each other at the same time."
(BBC Radio 4)

Presenter (to palaeontologist): "So what would happen if you mated the
woolly mammoth with, say, an elephant?"
Expert: "Well in the same way that a horse and a donkey produce a
mule, we'd get a sort of half-mammoth.
Presenter: "So it'd be like some sort of hairy gorilla?"
Expert: "Er, well yes, but elephant shaped, and with tusks." (GLR)

Kilroy-Silk: "Did you mean to get pregnant?"
Girl: "No. It was a cock-up."

Grand National winning jockey Mick Fitzgerald: "Sex is an anti-climax
after that!"
Desmond Lynam: "Well, you gave the horse a wonderful ride, everyone
saw that." (BBC)







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