Jewish Newspapers

As told by Alan Dershowitz in "The Vanishing American Jew"

There once were two Jews reading their newspapers over a cup of coffee in a
late-nineteenth century Viennese cafe.  Kurt is reading the liberal
Yiddish-language newspaper and shaking his head from side to side, uttering
soft moans of  "Oy vey" and "Vey is meir."  Shmulie is reading the
right-wing anti-Semetic German-language tabloid and smiling.  

Kurt, noticing what Shmulie is reading, shouts at his friend, "Why are you
reading that garbage?"  

Shmulie responds, "When I used to take your newspaper, all I would ever
read about was Dreyfus beign falsely accused, the Jews of Russia being
subjected to pogroms, anti-Semitic laws being enacted all over Europe, and
the grinding poverty of the Jews in the Holy Land.  Now, ever since I take
this paper, I read about how the Jews control the banks, the press, the
arts; how Jews hold all the political power behind the scenes; and how we
will soon take over the world.  Wouldn't you rather read such good news
than such bad news?"

Back to Lori's Humor Page