You might be a Jewish Redneck if...
* Your favorite foods are Gefilte Fish and Grits.
* You think Dolly Parton should have had the lead role in Yentl.
* You can't decide what to do when Yom Kippur and the first day
of hunting season fall on the same day.
* You keep writing to the Grand Ol' Opry for Fiddler On The Roof
* When the Rabbi announces that a pick-up truck is blocking the
driveway, everyone looks towards you.
* You wear Cowboy Boots to your son's Bar Mitzvah.
* You do all your Chanukah shopping at yard sales and flea markets.
* Despite traditional Jewish emphasis on higher education, you never
pursued your G.E.D.
* You want to move your work to another station in life - from
Shell to Exxon.
* For safekeeping you leave your NRA Membership Card in your
* You look for "Thank G-d I'm A Country Boy" in your synagogue
* Your favorite Passover snack is Spam on matzah.
* You think a mitzvoh is a Japanese car.
* You can't believe the K-Mart 'BlueLight' Specials you got your
daughter for her Bat Mitzvah.
* You're still looking for "Hava Nagila" by Elvis.
* You're disappointed when your son tells you he wants to be a
doctor or a lawyer and not a NASCAR driver.
* Your Chanukah decorations include a Star Of David hanging from a
plastic Pink Flamingo.
* You feed your Hound Dogs corned beef scraps.(mw)
* You have a Menorah tatooed on your chest.
* Your favorite fast food is a BLT- Bacon, Lox, and Tomato sandwich.
* You have a SkullCAP And Crossbones insignia on your motorcycle
* You break Yom Kippur fast at your favorite truck stop.
* You invite the Rabbi to give the invocation at the next Mudhop.
* You joined a "Conservative" congregation because you like Jerry
* You ask your synagogue's Cultural Appreciation Committe to
organize a bus trip to West Virginia.
* Your Hebrew vocabulary consists of all the curse worlds used by
* You think your synagogue services should conclude with Hatikva and
* You're offended when asked to check your gun at the synagogue
office before entering the sanctuary.