In My Day

   From some contest in which Boomers were asked to tell
   Gen Xers how much harder it was in the old days:


  In my day, we didn't have mouses to move the cursor around. We only
  had the arrows, and if the up arrow was broken and you needed to get
  to the top of the screen, well, you just hit the left arrow a
  thousand times, dadgummit.                  (Kevin Cuddihy, Fairfax)

  In my day, we couldn't afford shoes, so we went barefoot. In the
  winter we had to wrap our feet with barbed wire for traction.
                                             (Bill Flavin, Alexandria)

  In my day, we didn't have hand-held calculators.  We had to do
  addition on our fingers.  To subtract, we had to have some fingers
  amputated.                           (Jon Patrick Smith, Washington)

  In my day, we didn't have fancy high numbers. We had "nothing,"
  "one," "twain" and "multitudes."            (Elden Carnahan, Laurel)

  In my day, we didn't get that disembodied, slightly ticked-off voice
  saying `Doors closing.' We got on the train, the doors closed, and if
  your hand was sticking out it scraped along the tunnel all the damn
  way to the next station and it was a bloody stump at the end.
                                         (Russell Beland, Springfield)

  In my day, attitudes were different. For example, women didn't like
  sex. At least that is what they told me.   (Tom Witte, Gaithersburg)

  In my day, we didn't have virtual reality. If a one-eyed razorback
  barbarian warrior was chasing you with an ax, you just had to hope
  you could outrun him.                    (Sarah M. Wolford, Hanover)

  Back in the 1970s we didn't have the space shuttle to get all excited
  about. We had to settle for men walking on the crummy moon.
                                         (Russell Beland, Springfield)

  In my day, we didn't have days. There was only "time for work," "time
  for pray" and "time for sleep." The sheriff would go around and tell
  everyone when to change.                    (Elden Carnahan, Laurel)

  In my day, people could only dream of hitchhiking a ride on a comet.
                                        (David Ronka, Charlottesville)

  In my day, we didn't have fancy health-food restaurants. Every day
  we ate lots of easily recognizable animal parts, along with potatoes
  drenched in melted fat from those animals. And we're all as strong
  as AAGGKK-GAAK Urrgh. Thud.                (Tom Witte, Gaithersburg)

  When I was your age, we didn't have fake doggie-do. We only had real
  doggie-do, and no one thought it was a damn bit funny.
                                           (Brendan Bassett, Columbia)

  In my day, we didn't have water. We had to smash together our own
  hydrogen and oxygen atoms.                      (Diana Hugue, Bowie)

  Kids today think the world revolves around them. In my day, the sun
  revolved around the world, and the world was perched on the back of a
  giant tortoise.                        (Jonathan Paul, Garrett Park)

  In the old days, nobody asked you to sign petitions. The sheriff
  just came to your house and told you you was part of a posse.
                                             (Barry Blyveis, Columbia)

  In my day, we didn't have dogs or cats. All I had was Silver Beauty,
  my beloved paper clip.                    (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)

  Back in my day, "60 Minutes" wasn't just a bunch of gray-haired
  liberal 80-year-old guys. It was a bunch of gray-haired liberal
  60-year-old guys.
         (Russell Beland, Springfield, and Jerry Pannullo, Kensington)

  In my day, we didn't have Strom Thurmond. Oh, wait. Yes we did ...
                                                 (Peg Sheeran, Vienna)