Humor Disclaimer



	DISCLAIMER:  This humor does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either
	myself, my company, my friends, or my cat; don't quote me on that; don't
	quote me on anything;  all rights reserved; this joke is distribution
	copyrighted to the extent that you may distribute this joke and all its
	associated parts freely but you may not make a profit from it or include
	the joke in commercial publications without written permission from the
	President; other copyright laws for specific jokes apply wherever noted;
	jokes are subject to change without notice; jokes are slightly enlarged to
	show detail; any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is
	unintentional and purely coincidental; hand wash only, tumble dry on low
	heat; do not bend, fold, mutilate, or spindle; your mileage may vary; no
	substitutions allowed; for a limited time only; this humorour offer is void
	where prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted; humor is provided "as is"
	without	any warranties expressed or implied; user assumes full liabilities;
	not liable for damages due to use or misuse; an equal opportunity joke
	employer; no shoes, no shirt, no jokes; quantities are limited while
	supplies last; if defects are discovered, do not attempt to fix them
	yourself, but return to an authorized joke service center; caveat emptor;
	read at your own risk; parental advisory - explicit lyrics; text may
	contain material some readers may find objectionable, parental guidance is
	advised; keep away from sunlight, pets, and small children; limit
	one-per-family please; no money down; no purchase necessary; you need not
	be present to win; some assembly required; batteries are not included;
	action figures sold separately; no preservatives added; safety goggles may
	be required during use; sealed for your protection, do not use if the
	safety seal is broken; call before you dig; for external use only; if a
	rash, redness, irritation,or swelling develops, discontinue use; use only
	with proper ventilation; avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry
	place; keep away from open flames and avoid inhaling fumes; avoid contact
	with mucous membranes;do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120
	degrees Fahrenheit; do not place near flammable or magnetic source; smoking
	these jokes may be hazardous to your health; the best safeguard, second
	only to abstinence, is the use of a good laugh; text used in these jokes is
	made from 100% recycled electrons and magnetic particles; no animals were
	used to test the hilarity of these jokes; no salt, MSG, artificial color or
	flavour added; if ingested, do not induce vomiting, if symptoms persist,
	consult a humorologist; jokes are ribbed for your pleasure; slippery when
	wet; must be 18 to enter; possible penalties for early withdrawal; joke
	offer valid only at participating E-mail sites; slightly higher west of the
	Rockies; allow four to six weeks for delivery; disclaimer does not cover
	hurricane, lightning, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake,
	flood, and other Acts of God, misuse, neglect, unauthorized repair, damage
	from improper installation, broken antenna or marred cabinet, incorrect
	line voltage, missing or altered serial numbers, sonic boom
	vibrations, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, customer
	adjustments that are not covered in the joke list, and incidents owing to
	airplane crash, ship sinking, motor vehicle accidents, leaky roof, broken
	glass, falling rocks,  mud slides, forest fire, flying projectiles, or
	dropping the item; other restrictions may apply.  If something offends you,
	lighten up get a life, and move on.
	







Back to Lori's Humor Page
Back to Lori's Home Page