Happy National Apathy Day

By Will Durst

from the NEW YORK TIMES 11/2/98 pg A27

	Don't vote. You don't have to. No one's going to make you. This isn't the 
	Soviet Union in the 50's. You won't be forced from your bed and dragged to 
	the polls against your will. Relax.  None of your friends are voting. And 
	things are pretty good the way they are, right? If it ain't broke, don't 
	fix it. What do you care if some barren deserted beach does or doesn't get 
	blanketed by a thick film of 30-weight because of offshore drilling? Find 
	another beach. What's the big deal? 

 	Don't vote; you know you don't want to. Parking is a pain, the print is so 
	tiny, and it's always on a Tuesday -- what's that all about, anyway? 
	Besides, haven't the pollsters already told us who's going to win? Why beat 
	your head against a wall? It's a done deal. Out of your hands. Don't even 
	need to wash them. It'd be totally different if it actually mattered. But 
	it's not as if we have any real choice. If voting were effective, they would 
	have made it illegal by now. 

  	Don't vote. Everyone knows the big corporations have the politicians so deep 
	in their pockets they've got to brush the lint out of their hair before photo 
	ops. It's common knowledge. Conventional wisdom. You'll only end up 
	encouraging them. 

	You must have better things to do. Jog on over to the library before it gets 
	closed down and read up on other people who never voted. Or you could work 
	on that extra room for Grandma when Medicare fails and she has to move in. 
	Or take a farewell trip on your local mass transit and wave bye-bye to the 
	neighborhood rec center. That would be fun. 

	Besides, what difference does it make? One lousy little vote. A spit in the 
	ocean. Don't worry. Be happy. Stay home. This is still a free country, last 
	time I looked. Who cares? Not you. 

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