Happy National Apathy Day
By Will Durst
from the NEW YORK TIMES 11/2/98 pg A27
Don't vote. You don't have to. No one's going to make you. This isn't the
Soviet Union in the 50's. You won't be forced from your bed and dragged to
the polls against your will. Relax. None of your friends are voting. And
things are pretty good the way they are, right? If it ain't broke, don't
fix it. What do you care if some barren deserted beach does or doesn't get
blanketed by a thick film of 30-weight because of offshore drilling? Find
another beach. What's the big deal?
Don't vote; you know you don't want to. Parking is a pain, the print is so
tiny, and it's always on a Tuesday -- what's that all about, anyway?
Besides, haven't the pollsters already told us who's going to win? Why beat
your head against a wall? It's a done deal. Out of your hands. Don't even
need to wash them. It'd be totally different if it actually mattered. But
it's not as if we have any real choice. If voting were effective, they would
have made it illegal by now.
Don't vote. Everyone knows the big corporations have the politicians so deep
in their pockets they've got to brush the lint out of their hair before photo
ops. It's common knowledge. Conventional wisdom. You'll only end up
You must have better things to do. Jog on over to the library before it gets
closed down and read up on other people who never voted. Or you could work
on that extra room for Grandma when Medicare fails and she has to move in.
Or take a farewell trip on your local mass transit and wave bye-bye to the
neighborhood rec center. That would be fun.
Besides, what difference does it make? One lousy little vote. A spit in the
ocean. Don't worry. Be happy. Stay home. This is still a free country, last
time I looked. Who cares? Not you.