An Analysis of the Causes of Greenhouse Gases


by Mark Pettifor


Much attention lately has been given to global warming, the cause of
which is an increase in the amount of "greenhouse gases" (CO2, methane,
etc) in the atmosphere.  I thought it would be helpful to analyze the
relative amounts of gases produced by various sources, so we can begin
focusing our efforts of reducing the output of these gases on those
sources which, overall, produce the most on a global scale.  After
diligent research, I have created the following charts:


Chart A

This chart is a general breakdown of the major sources of Greenhouse
Gases*:


Source                                                      % of total
                                                            GG* output
----------------------------------------------------------------------

-Volcanoes.......................................................29.75
-Animal & plant decay............................................28.32
-Tooth decay......................................................0.02
-Radioactive decay................................................0.00
-Animal farts....................................................22.91
    -cows                                                        11.70
    -horses                                                       8.21
    -others                                                       2.76
    -horses fed Beefarino                                         0.24
-People farts.....................................................3.18
    -men                                                          3.17
    -women                                                         .01
-Left over from Creation..........................................7.77
-"Exhaled" by the oceans and plants...............................4.21
-Leaked in from other dimensions..................................0.15
-Manmade sources..................................................3.69


Chart B
-------

This chart is a further breakdown of the Manmade sources:

Source                                                      % of total
                                                            GG* output
----------------------------------------------------------------------

-Politicians talking about global warming........................33.24
-Waste from UN personnel doing research into global warming......21.45
-Waste from factories which produce books, pamphlets,
   newsletters and documentaries about global warming............16.26

-Waste from travel to forums held in Third World countries to
   talk about what to do about global warming....................11.05
-Waste from industries owned by Ted Turner........................6.66
-Exhaled by Al Gore's mouth.......................................4.21
-Exhaled by network nannies reporting on global warming...........3.75
-Planes, trains, and automobiles..................................2.56
-Hard-working people who make the world go 'round.................1.76


There are some items that weren't represented on the charts that would
nonetheless be worthwhile eliminating.  For example: the production of
baked beans.  This would kill two birds with one stone. Not only would
the industrial waste of producing canned beans be eliminated, but so
would another major source of greenhouse gas - the consumption of baked
beans.

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This study was prepared without funds or any help whatsoever from the
National Science Foundation, the Corporation for Public Broadcasting,
the National Endowment for the Arts, the Congressional hotline, or
Microsoft technical support.
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