Alliterated Prodigal Son
The Final Fixing of the Foolish Fugitive
Originally composed by Rev. W. O. Taylor, quoted in More Holy Humor
Feeling footloose, fancy-free and frisky, this feather-brained fellow
finagled his fond father into forking over his fortune. Forthwith, he
fled for foreign fields and frittered his farthings feasting
fabulously with fair-weather friends. Finally, fleeced by those folly
filled fellows and facing famine, he found himself a feed flinger in a
filthy farm-lot. He fain would have filled his frame with foraged
food from fodder fragments.
"Fooey! My father's flunkies fare far fancier," the frazzled
fugitive fumed feverishly, frankly facing fact.
Frustrated from failure and filled with forebodings, he fled for
his family. Falling at his father's feet, he floundered forlornly.
"Father, I have flunked and fruitlessly forfeited further family
favors . . ."
But the faithful father, forestalling further flinching,
frantically flagged his flunkies to fetch forth the finest fatling and
fix a feast.
But the fugitive's fault finding frater , faithfully farming his
father's fields for free, frowned at this fickle forgiveness of former
falderal. His fury flashed, but fussing was futile.
His foresighted father figured, "Such filial fidelity is fine, but
what forbids fervent festivities? The fugitive is found! Unfurl the
flags! With fanfare flaring, let fun, frolic and frivolity flow
freely, former failures forgotten and folly forsaken. Forgiveness
forms a firm foundation for future fortitude."