Dear John/Joanne Form Letter

Dear __________________________ :

Well, it was good while it lasted, but now

   ___ the county health services wants your phone number.
   ___ time wounds all heals.
   ___ you can have an intimate relationship with your answering
machine.
   ___ is the time for all good men to come to the aid of the party.

I finally got the

   ___ message.
   ___ picture.
   ___ joke.
   ___ right cologne.
   ___ blood test results.

I don't

   ___ like
   ___ want
   ___ need

a Vanna White impression to have it spelled out for me.

Too bad, because when you want to, you can be

   ___ beautiful.
   ___ handsome.
   ___ intelligent.
   ___ very psychic/psychotic.
   ___ a sex maniac.
   ___ God's answer for having too much fun.
   ___ Arnold Schwartzenneger's prototype for Terminator 3.

I would greatly appreciate you taking responsibility for

   ___ your own "stuff,"
   ___ feeding the starving sharks,
   ___ paying for your own lobotomy,

and being

   ___ confused.
   ___ a Mooney/Jehovah Witness/Feminizt.
   ___ a preoperative transsexual.

I didn't

   ___ have an impure thought,
   ___ tell anyone about your operation,
   ___ write to the National Enquirer,
   ___ bribe that short guard in cell block D,

but I wish I had.

Thank you for helping me to see the light about you.

I now no longer feel like

   ___ seeing you.
   ___ knowing that you ever existed.
   ___ flushing the toilet.

Sincerely glad to not be yours,

(signature)