The Romance Quiz That OutCosmo's Cosmo!
By Kit Lively
Hey you! Yes you, the one in the coonskin cap drinking ranch-style
dressing straight from the bottle! Take this quiz!
Guys, How Romantic are you?
1. The most appropriate and considerate gift to present to the lady on
the first date is....
a. A refrigerator filled with clean-shaven dead monkeys.
b. A gift certificate for a free tango lesson given by Orville
c. A life-size, nude sculpture of George C. Scott made entirely out
of cottage cheese.
2. The best time to attempt to kiss the lady on the first date is...
a. After you've had sex.
b. Four hours after the date is over, by sneaking into her house and
c. After you've just given her dad a back rub.
3. What was the first thing that attracted you to your wife/girlfriend?
a. Her twelve year old daughter.
b. The way she had been granted the evil, powerful magic of Satan, so
she could get into movie's free and stuff.
c. The fact that she wore the same dress size as me.
4. Everyone knows that you love your wife/girlfriend, but if you could
change just one thing about her, what would it be?
a. Her butt cheeks, which are like ziplock bags full of pancake
b. Her breath, which usually smells sort of like a slaughterhouse
that's being used to store pickle barrels filled with used diapers.
c. Nothing. Not a thing. She is one hundred percent perfect, every
man's dream. See Honey? See, I circled this one. Now will you
let me take the camcorder into the bedroom?
5. Which of the following is the famous quote Alexander the Great used
to inspire the weary people of his kingdom after he returned from
his journey to the Endonites of Southern Angola?
a. Hey everybody, look what I brought back! Caramel corn!
b. Do these pants make my bottom look too big?
c. I hope someone remembered to record "Days of Our Lives" for me.
d. Hey, alright, it's Polka Time
ANSWERS: Don't worry about it. You're the man, so you can never be