College Quips


* A student enters his dorm room and finds a note on his bed from
  his roommate: "If I'm studying when you get back, please wake me."
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* Ya know, it's a wonder some of these "professional students"
  don't have ivy growing up their legs by the time they graduate.
                               - - - - -

* Even in my day at the Univ of Maryland, people always stressed
  a balanced diet.  In the tradition of all the other engineering
  students, I always made sure that I had a beer in each hand.
                               - - - - -

* Lots of parents saw their kids graduate this year.  I offered
  one neighbor my congratulations on his son's finally finishing
  college.  He said, "Yeah, and not a dollar too soon either."
                               - - - - -

* It was one of those proper mid-western colleges.  All they gave
  their basketball players was room and board, plus $2,700.00 a
  week towards their books.
                               - - - - -

*   It had been snowing for hours when an announcement came over
  the intercom: "Will the students who are parked on University
  Drive please move their cars so that we may being plowing."
    Twenty minutes later another announcement: "Will the twelve
  hundred students who went to move 26 cars return to class."







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