Butterball Turkey Talk-Line
Over the years, the Butterball Turkey Talk-Line staff have had
their share of memorable calls -- inquiries that stand out from
the crowd because they're heartwarming or amusing. We asked some
of the veteran staff members to tell us their favorites; plus,
we rounded up a bunch of our own personal favorites from the
Talk-Line archives. It's hard to beat the call from a trucker who
planned to cook his Thanksgiving turkey on the engine of his truck
("Will it cook faster if I drive faster?"), but some of these come
pretty close. Warning: do not attempt to adjust your screen --
these are real incidents, true stories -- from the front lines!
* Home alone, a Kentucky woman was in the doghouse when she called
the Butterball Turkey Talk-Line While preparing the turkey, her
chihuahua jumped into the bird's body cavity and couldn't get out.
She tried pulling the dog and shaking the bird, but nothing worked.
She and the dog became more and more distraught. After calming the
woman down, the Talk-Line home economist suggested carefully
cutting the opening in the cavity of the turkey wider. It worked
and Fido was freed!
* Birdie, eagle and turkey? Roasting a turkey doesn't have to
interfere with the daily routine, so said a retired Floridian.
He called "Turkey Central" for turkey grilling tips while
waiting to tee off from the 14th hole.
* Taking turkey preparation an extra step, a Virginian wondered,
"How do you thaw a fresh turkey?" The Talk-Line staffer explained
that fresh turkeys aren't frozen and don't need to be thawed.
* Don't wait until the last minute! On Thanksgiving Day, a Georgian
woman took the "Be prepared" motto to heart. She had just agreed
to host Thanksgiving Dinner and called the Talk-Line a year ahead
of time for turkey tips.
* Happy Thanksgiving, President Clinton! A Southern woman called
to comment, "On Thanksgiving Day, the Butterball Turkey Talk-Line
is more important than the President. He can take the day off,
but the Talk-Line staff can't." (The Butterball Turkey Talk-Line
is open Thanksgiving Day, 6 a.m. to 6 p.m., Central Standard Time.)
* Thanksgiving Dinner on the run. A woman called 1-800-323-4848 to
find out how long it would take to roast her turkey. To answer
the question, the Talk-Line home economist asked how much the
bird weighed. The woman responded, "I don't know, it's still
running around outside."
* Tofu turkey? No matter how you slice it, Thanksgiving just isn't
Thanksgiving without turkey. A restaurant owner in California
wanted to know how to roast a turkey for a vegetarian menu.
* White meat, anyone? A West Coast woman took turkey preparation
to extremes by scrubbing her bird with bleach. Afterward, she
called the Talk-Line to find out how to clean off the bleach.
To her dismay, she was advised to dispose of the turkey.
* A young girl called on behalf of her mother who needed roasting
advice To provide approximate roasting times, the home economist
asked what size the turkey was. Without asking her mother the
little girl paused, then replied, "Medium."
* A novice turkey-cooking chef wanted to know if the yellow netting
and wrapper around the turkey should be removed before roasting.
Envisioning a melted plastic turkey blob, the home economist
responded, "Yes," then offered complete roasting directions.
And one More....
* Then there's the time a lady was picking through the frozen
turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough
for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get
any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."