1992 Elections

The Top 10 reasons why Bush should have won again.

10. Has best selling author in family, his dog.
 9. Much taller than Perot or Clinton.
 8. Quayle will have four more years of being Nintendo Champion 
    in the White House game room.
 7. Has plan for Americans to pay less taxes: rent hotel room to use
    as residence in a no state income tax state. (suggest Texas)
 6. Barbara wont have to return George Washington's wig to the Smithsonian.
 5. Not involved in savings and loans scandal like his son.
 4. Read my lips, I wont raise taxes...again.
 3. Qualye can run in '96 to continue consecutive impeccable Republican
 2. Biological father of Murphy Brown's baby.
 1. Winner of Japanese Up-Chuck Contest.

The top 10 reasons why Bill Clinton won

10. Better do-nothing-president than Bush or Perot.
 9. Looks older and wiser by bleaching hair.  Also, in order not to look
    like Quayle's age.
 8. Only joined all white golf country club for the free umbrellas in
    the drinks.
 7. First Elvis impersonator president.
 6. Ambulance chasing wife would make a better looking First Lady.
 5. The U.S. wont enter any more wars, so he wont have to dodge draft
    again. (even though draft is illegal now)
 4. Good boy scout: helps old ladies cross the street even when they dont
    want to.
 3. Gore will replace Quayle as the country's back-up quarterback.
 2. Eats his Wheaties everyday.
 1. Read my lips, I never inhaled.

The top 10 reasons why Ross Perot should have won

10. Wont have to pay Clinton's tax on rich. (especilly for Perot)
 9. Great "problem solver" president. Always solves difficulties by eating
    can of spinach.
 8. Wont quit presidency until after the 2nd year. (he'll come back the 4th)
 7. Save taxpayer's money.  Instead of using Air Force One on trips, he'll
    fly over using Dumbo-like ears.
 6. Running mate is a famous personality that is capable of taking over
    the presidency if something happens to Perot.
 5. First president to fire congress.
 4. Lives five blocks from Arkansas and knows that Clinton's experience
    as govenor of a small state is IRRELEVANT for being president of the 
    United States.  (The govenor of Alaska has about the same experience.)
 3. Use his own money to hire commandoes to kick other countries' ass
    instead of using US soldiers.
 2. Larry King Live would broadcast from the White House more often.
 1. Everyone knows that every munchkin has the powers of the Wizard and
    the Good Witch of the North on their side.

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