The Top 15 Signs You Live Too Close to an Amusement Park

	15> You can't afford to buy film for your camera unless you drive to 
		the next county. 

	14> You buy a swingset for your kids and some hoods from Disney pump 
		your garage full of lead as a warning. 

	13> Merry-Go-Round riders constantly yanking out your wife's earrings. 

	12> There's a bearded lady in your back yard, and your mother-in-law is 
		out of town. 

	11> You paid for your new Lexus with 43,800,000 skee-ball tickets. 

	10> Can't leave your driveway without backing over picketing Southern 

	 9> Your house is on the park map as "Crappyland." 

	 8> Crazy kids hand you a buck, then smash your new Volvo with a sledgehammer. 

	 7> Your cat gets a hernia carrying home its last mouse kill.

	 6> Every meal you've had for the past two months has been served on a stick. 

	 5> Neighborhood hookers require an "E" ticket. 

	 4> Scooby and his 'pesky' friends search your house for evidence regarding 
		the creepy amusement park owner. 

	 3> The name of the damned place is "Six Flags Over Ed Smith."

	 2> Your "It's a Small World" insanity plea successfully beats the mass 
		murder rap. 

	       and Top5's Number 1 Sign You Live 
	       Too Close to an Amusement Park... 

	 1> Despite your most amorous pleas, wife demands hand-stamp before re-entry. 

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