Top 12 New Commandments


 	12. Anyone who says Thou Shalt Not one more time gets whacked 

 	11. Thou shalt continue to read the second part of the Passover 
		Haggadah after the Seder meal 

 	10. Ladies' wigs count as hair 

 	 9. Thou shalt have no other gods before breakfast 

	 8. For the last time, circumcision stays 

	 7. Thou shalt not colorize Hollywood movies 

	 6. Endives are acceptable Lulav substitutes 

	 5. Due to illness, the role of the prophet Elijah in Kings II 15-21 
		will be played by Ed Asner 

	 4. To prevent further embarrassment, the name Oral Tradition will be 
		replaced by Spoken Tradition 

	 3. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's Mac 
	
	 2. Thou shalt not begin thy jokes with "A priest, a minister and a 
		rabbi," so that your days will be lengthened on God's earth 
	
	 1. It's Hanukkah - not Chanooca, not Chanucca - Hanukkah, always and 
		everywhere, got it? 

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