100 Reasons Why It's Great to be a Woman


       	1. We can get laid anytime we want
       	2. We never have to buy our own drinks at the bar
       	3. We piss sitting down so its easier to pass out on the toilet when 
           you're drunk
       	4. We get out of speeding tickets by crying
      	5. We get out of speeding tickets by showing a little cleavage or leg
        6. We can sleep our way to the top of the class
        7. We get to shop at Victoria's Secret
        8. We can marry rich and then not have to work 
        9. We never have to pay when we go out on dates
       10. Men take us on all expense paid trips- all we have to do is sleep
           with them
       11. Men light our cigarettes for us 
       12. Men hold the door open for us
       13. We pout better (those puppy dog eyes always work!) 
       14. We're cuter
       15. We lie better
       16. We're better manipulators
       17. We always end up sleeping in the bed when we fight with our other
           halves- you guys get the couch
       18. We always have food in the fridge
       19. We don't worry about losing our hair
       20. We always get to choose the movie 
       21. We don't have to mow the lawn
       22. We don't have to take out the garbage
       23. we don't have to paint the house or walls 
       24. PMS- yet another excuse to bitch at men 
       25. Cosmopolitan 
       26. We can con our way out of anything- not just dig ourselves deeper 
           into a hole
       27. Men unlock our side of the car first- a real bonus when its cold 
       28. PMS is a legal defense for murder
       29. Men are like tiles, lay em right the first time ya can walk all  
           over em forever
       30. We can masturbate more in a day than men 
       31. 2 words- multiple orgasms
       32. We don't have to constantly adjust our genitals 
       33. Sweat is sexy on us
       34. We never run out of excuses
       35. You guys may get to think about sex 200 times a day, but we could
           be having it that often
       36. Doggie style- that way we get to watch the game too
       37. We get expensive jewelery as gifts that we NEVER have to give back 
       38. We get candy, flowers and jewelery all the time cuz men mess up so 
           often
       39. We can give "the look" that will make any man want to cower in the 
           corner
       40. Women are cleaner
       41. Women have more than one erogenous zone (in case you guys didnt   
           know)
       42. We're better arguers
       43. We don't always have to think with our genitals 
       44. Massage!!!!
       45. We're better parents
       46. We never have to sit home alone on a weekend night
       47. There's never a shortage of ready, willing and able men 
       48. We're flexible
       49. When women get pissed we don't destroy property or hurt people- we
           just take it out on the world in general because we can
       50. Menopause- thank god we're not capable of having children after   
           we're 50
       51. Menstruation- just another excuse to use so we can say "no" to sex 
       52. Men in uniform
       53. There is no penis envy
       54. We can just roll over and go to sleep after we masturbate because 
           there's no messy clean-up
       55. It generally takes us less to get drunk 
       56. We have a higher tolerance to pain
       57. We often get to cut in line
       58. Most women actually look good in short shorts- men DON'T 
       59. Better tips
       60. Women who don't wear underwear are considered sexy and wild, when 
           men do it, its rather disgusting
       61. We have mastered civilized eating- we don't embarass our friends or 
           make loud bodily noises in public
       62. Women can go a day without showering or shaving and not look or  
           smell disgusting- thank god for long pants and perfume!
       63. We can connive men into doing our homework, writing our papers or
           carrying our books anytime we want
       64. We don't have excessive amounts of body hair 
       65. We don't spend 45 minutes on the toilet
       66. Men will pay us for sex
       67. Smoking the seeds in marijuana doesnt make us sterile
       68. We can throw a punch at a man and not get hit in return
       69. Men may fantasize about having sex with more than one woman at a 
           time, but we can have sex with an entire football team at once if
           we want 
       70. Men walk on the side of the sidewalk closest to the road so that if 
           a car hits us, he gets hurt not us
       71. Women sweat less
       72. Women smell better
       73. When women make their boyfriends mad, we don't have to waste money 
           on flowers or cards- a blowjob and sex fixes all
       74. Men are more often serial killers, thieves, rapists and cheats 
       75. Women don't get the humor in the three stooges
       76. Women have three accessible holes
       77. We don't get embarassed when buying tampons 
       78. We're better gossips
       79. We have better fashion sense
       80. We're better shoppers
       81. We don't have to make fools out of ourselves to impress a man 
       82. Our friends don't pick on us if we arent sleeping with anyone
       83. Men don't know what our 'girl talk' is all about (and I'm not gonna 
           tell you)
       84. We're all sittin on a gold mine- we know it and use it to our     
           extreme advantage
       85. We don't have to drive when on a date
       86. An ugly woman can use makeup and get a new hairdo to become      
           presentable- ugly men are just fucked
       87. Women can use the old "that mark on my neck is from a curling iron 
           burn" line
       88. Women know how fake it
       89. Women look better naked
       90. We know that rhythm doesnt only pertain to dancing
       91. When women are short, we're petite, when men are short, they're  
           just short
       92. Women do less time for violent crime
       93. Women don't have to worry about not being able to get it up 
       94. An oblong vegetable is all we need for a good time anynight
       95. Womens conversations generally consist of more than just "uh huh,
           yep ok then bye"
       96. Women don't need an excuse to be in a bad mood 
       97. Women never have to see combat
       98. The remote control is not an extension of ourselves 
       99. Women are sexier
        
       and the 100th reson its better to be a woman- this one is definitely 
       worthy of reiteration:
       
       100. We can get laid ANYTIME, ANYWHERE, ANY WAY we want it!  







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